What If You Have ADHD and Never Knew It?
/Could You Have ADHD and Not Know It?
If you’ve ever wondered, “Do I have ADHD?” and then immediately told yourself (or were told by a parent/teacher/doctor), “No way, I did well in school”… this one’s for you.
You can have ADHD and still be smart, successful, and seemingly “fine” from the outside.
In fact, that’s exactly why it gets missed—especially in women, girls, and high-achieving adults.
I’m Jennifer Branstetter, a licensed therapist working with adults in Indiana and Ohio. I help people who’ve spent years pushing through symptoms they didn’t know were symptoms—until burnout, anxiety, or executive dysfunction finally forced them to stop and look deeper.
Let’s talk about how ADHD hides in plain sight—and what therapy can do about it.
---
Signs of ADHD You Might Have Missed
In grad school, we were taught to recognize symptoms with the stereotype of the kid bouncing off the walls. I distinctly remember them saying “These are the kids who will be crawling all over your office.” Unfortunately, this thinking causes us to miss a whole lot of kids and adults, especially those who’ve learned to mask it. Some signs include:
Always feeling overwhelmed, scattered, or behind
Starting a million things but finishing none
Constant mental noise and overthinking
Hyper-focus—losing hours in deep dives, then forgetting to eat or drink
Chronic procrastination, followed by panic-fueled productivity
Trouble with time (underestimating, overbooking, or completely losing track of it)
Emotional dysregulation—everything feels a lot. Especially being sensitive to how others feel about you
Struggling to rest, even when exhausted
You might also have a long history of anxiety, depression, or burnout—and no one ever asked, “Hey, could this be ADHD?”
---
Why ADHD Gets Missed in Women and Girls
ADHD in women often gets overlooked because:
It doesn’t always look like hyperactivity—it shows up as daydreaming, anxiety, or basically hyperactivity of the mind
Many girls learn early to mask symptoms by overcompensating, people-pleasing, or becoming perfectionists
They get labeled “smart but scattered,” and teachers will say “she could do so well if she just applied herself!”
Women and high-functioning people in general often don’t get diagnosed until adulthood—after college, kids, a career change, or a health crisis pushes them past their limits and suddenly the compensation strategies don’t work anymore. I was 39 and had been a therapist for over 10 years when I was diagnosed!
---
What About Giftedness or High Achievement?
Lots of people with ADHD were considered “gifted” as kids. They may have coasted through school until executive functioning demands outpaced their coping skills. Or the things that supported their executive dysfunction are suddenly gone. For instance, the structure of high school and family life often keep things together, but getting to college suddenly every day’s schedule is different and you are responsible for figuring out what/where/when to eat, when to do laundry, when/how to get the detergent, etc. Things can fall apart, and then you and the people around you wonder how someone so successful is having such a hard time “adulting.”
This is not about effort or intelligence. ADHD is a brain difference, not a failure.
---
How Therapy Can Help
Whether you have a formal ADHD diagnosis or you're just starting to connect the dots, therapy can help you:
Identify and work with your neurodivergent brain (instead of constantly fighting it)
Create systems that support you to get things done
Unpack the shame and self-blame that comes from years of masking
Learn how to regulate emotions, set boundaries, and stand up for yourself
Get clarity on whether further ADHD evaluation makes sense for you
I work with adults in Indiana and Ohio who are navigating undiagnosed or late-diagnosed ADHD—especially women, people-pleasers, and burned-out overthinkers who’ve spent years holding it all together. It feels like neurodivergent folks attract each other, as I have had so many clients come to me for anxiety or depression, and we end up finding the root of the problem is undiagnosed ADHD.
You're Not Broken—You're Just Wired Differently
And once you understand your wiring, everything can start to make more sense. You don’t have to blame yourself for being unorganized and stressed out all the time - you can accept that your brain works differently and figure out how to work with it. Our world was built for neurotypicals, so it makes sense why we struggle to fit in. If we see it like a gap in skills, tools, or support, then it becomes a problem to be solved rather than a spiral of shame.
If this post feels a little too accurate, let’s talk.
Online therapy can be a safe place to explore ADHD, unmask a little, and build a life that actually works for you.
Click here to schedule a free consult or call/text 513-461-2045 to get started.
